Numb

-


I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take!
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
I've become so numb
These words aptly describe me so far this year....but to hear Chester committed suicide? That's a new low.
Why do these people that help us through the deep, feel terrible enough to kill themselves? Why?
Too many people to count.
Its heartbreaking.
I'm getting over my numbness gradually......gradually....
I have too much to live for, to allow someone else's pressures send me to another hell.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happyness

-
First of all, Happy New Month Everybody! I have been absent because I have been searching for a job. But I missed blogging so I ran back. I just finished watching Will Smith's "The Pursuit of Happyness" and I cried and cried, at the frustrastion illustrated there, then I cried tears of joy when he was given a ray of light in the midst of the darkness. I cried at his bravery in facing all the terrible things that happened to him head on. I cried when he had to lock him and his son up in a train station's toilet so the boy could sleep at night. I cried when he could not sleep. I cried when he beat the odds. Chris Gardner is one brave guy. Its a true story so I know he's out there somewhere. And I am grateful to him for telling his own story. No one would see him now in 2007 and think he had to fight to stay in line in a homeless shelter so he could get a decent bed for his son at night. No one would see his success and believe that he ever made an investment mistake
Read more

NYSC - national delay or service? Answer

-
I decided that the answer to that question is national service some weeks ago. Now I have changed my mind. It is National delay. After posting us (four corpers) for three weeks [an old secretary tells us to 'come back' with four working days interval, each time] the Railway Technical School, under the auspices of The Railway Corporation, Nigeria, decided that they did not need us. So, I have been rejected from my place of primary assignment. Just when I had decided that I could try my hand at teaching (six footers with baritone voices), and take some certification exams as well, I am told that the Nigerian Railway Corporation cannot afford to pay four corpers five thousand naira, and so we have been rejected. Nigeria we serve! Now I am looking for a job - seriously searching for a job. I am thankful
Read more

I WALKED

-
Well, tis been a while and I know am at fault, but programming is really taking my time these days. Its as if I must share myself among it all - programming, social life, hubby-to-be, exercise and family (not in that order o!). I am striving to find a balance. Well, what has been going on? A lot, I tell you. I chatted and spoke with my best friend mentyola, a few days ago, and I can tell you that distance has not spoilt anything in between us. It is hard to find a friend who just loves you the way you are - and wants you to be a better person. If you find that in a person hold on tight! Needless to say I have gained weight again (my cousin will kill me when she reads this!). Yes, my tummy is bulging again, and am without makeup most days and I don't really care about how I dress - again. I guess its back to 'almost depressed' zone. I have been burying myself in work, but so far its not really helping. Several factors are weighing me down - thanks to my marvelous former scho
Read more